"Men often say they can't commit to a relationship because they are focused on work right now while women make time for a job, a relationship and a social life..."Is there really a difference in men and women making time for a relationship while maintaining a 'regular life'? or is it that anyone saying they can't have significant other at the moment because of *insert excuse here* just hasn't found someone worth committing to? Do we always have time to fit love in? Do WOMEN tend to make time for love, make love a priority in their already packed schedules. Sometimes, I forget to call my mother back, but I admit I rarely forget to text that 'boo' back. I know I have used this line many times and have actually believed it. Since I read this tweet, I came to the realization that if the right person wanted to commit to me & asked me to do the same, I would. I would make time for that, and grad school, and work, and my family, friends, sleep, hobbies, etc. So, is this just something we say when we don't find all the qualities we think we are looking for in 'the one'? Who wants to waste their time, spending time...right? How long are you going to say you can't cause you don't have time..until time actually runs out? When all the potentials have committed elsewhere, and you finally 'have time' to fall in love...
I have come to the conclusion that love, like life and death doesn't give a damn about your schedule, your time constraints or your 4 o'clock meeting that you 'cant miss'. In love, you will sit in that meeting and not know about anything being discussed, why? cause your mind is still cuddling in bed your boo. Love grows on its own and creeps up in us as we water it daily with cute messages back and forth, chill sessions, deep conversations, hilarious jokes, dates, dinners, randomness. What did you expect was going to happen? Lets be serious, we spend more time convincing ourselves we are not falling than the time it took to fall. Why? Whats so scary? (Everything, actually) but, at the end of the day...in our mid-twenties, we've survived a few heartbreaks and have bounced back, which is why we are here again, hopefully to stay in love this time, but maybe not. On that same token, Love doesn't care that you are comfortable and enjoying the life you've built with a lover, Love will leave when it wants too. Having you wondering 'What happened? How did we get here?'. It has surprised me many times with its departure, and in retrospect I can say it was never late, it always left on time.
The 'bullshit' about all of this is pride and the toxic trend of 'falling in love is for the weak'. The idea of having one lover is weak and having multiple is a sign of strength, independence and confidence. I am not sure if this is something specific to our generation, but it is very common now. The same people who say they don't have time for a relationship, spend most nights of the week with different lovers. So, really...the time is there because you are spending it, the problem is you'd rather spend it with not just one. Its not about a job or a crazy schedule...its about a will. Where there is a will there is a way. Sadly, too many of us (yes, myself included)...will use anything in our lives to push away what might be Love. We spend too much time thinking about the times we were left alone and hurt and not enough time thinking about that day you realized you loved them, or the mornings waking up next to them. We don't think about how GOOD it can feel because we are too guarded.
Your job will still be there, your family will be happy if you're happy, your social life will still be amazing, if it feels right don't stop it with silly hypotheticals based on past lovers. Take a hit of love, close your eyes and let your self go...the worst that can happen is you wake up.
Liz
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