the neighbor

So, today I was leaving my moms house to go to yoga class (hot yoga, so life changing) & the neighbor (young man, husband, 2 kids) says hi & as always I smiled & waved back. Now, we have never had a conversation prior to today, its always just a wave. I'm in my car and he gets into his and pulls up behind me. I thought that was so awkward but kept texting while my car warmed up. As I pull off, I notice he pulls off too and then he gets on the same highway, switches all the lanes I am switching, so now its getting a little awkward. We get to a red light and he pulls up next to me and tells me to pull over to the next gas station. My first thought was 'Is there something wrong with my car?'. I roll down my window at the gas station and he says 'Can we go inside the store because my son is in the car..' and he walks towards the store. I sat in my car for 3 seconds thinking 'What is going on?!?!?! Should I be scared? This is a public place, its okay. Just go.' So, I get in the store and he starts a regular ass conversation with me! As if he wasn't being a complete weirdo!!? The convo went like this: 

Him: hey, how are you?

Me: *long pause* I'm good, whats going on? 

Him: nothing, i just wanted to have a conversation with you but my son is in the car. If he sees me talking to you, he will tell his mother & we can't have that. 

Me: *stares* *jaw slightly dropped* ok. so...

Him: we just always wave at each other and i wanted to know if you wanted to be friends. you give off the vibe that you wanna be my friend. so, do you want to be friends? 

Me: no, i wave because you are my parents neighbor and thats the polite thing to do. i don't think we need to be friends. 

Him: are you in school? how old are you? you moved out right? your car is never there anymore..only sometimes. when are you coming around again? 

Me: umm. this is really weird. I'm 24, i moved. i won't be back for a while. 

Him: oh okay, so you're an adult. thats good. so do you wanna be friends? (as he pulls out his phone)

Me: theres no reason for us to be friends. your son is in the car, you have a WIFE at home...no reason for us to be friends. I have to go, I'm gonna be late...

Him: Oh, okay. well just make sure this stays between me and you because if my wife finds out...you know that will be a problem. 

Me: right. bye. 

*exits*

First of all, stalker? seriously. Why are you checking for me or my car like that!? No. Not okay. Second of all, lets be friends but not let tell your wife? What? No. HOW DARE YOU!? Third, YOU FOLLOWED ME FOR 2 MILES WITH YOUR SON IN THE CAR IN HOPES OF ME CATCHING THE BAIT! WHAT!? Fourth, I know who your wife is, I know where she lives, what car she drives, I watched your kids grow up, where is your dignity, bro!?

After this happened, I went about my day but it really bothered me, I kept thinking about things like 'Does his wife think she has a faithful, one woman man?' 'Will i ever find someone the opposite of that?' 'Im sorry for his family'. Its sad to me that families are built on lies, deceit and infidelity but here we are walking to an alter faking our vows and calling it 'til death do us part'. Am I part of an extinct set of morals and ideals? I would never think to pursue someone while I was in a relationship, let alone a marriage! That is disgusting. 

It hurts me that there are people like this man creating loving people into bitter people because he is living by a standard generalization of 'men aint shit'. I know a lot of good, hardworking, team LOVE men...but i would be lying to you if men like my neighbor didn't make me question those good men. Id be lying if I told you I didn't come home and as I told my father thought in my head 'Have you ever went outside your relationship with mommy?'. Its sad that we let the bad outweigh the good. I wish it didn't, but today was an example that it did. After thinking about it all day, I said to myself...'they ain't shit'. 

How are we ever going to be willing and open to love someone guards down, hearts open when the living examples all around us are telling us to love with a knife behind ya back (just in case)...? Its like the negative examples of love leave such lasting impressions on us blurring out the image my parents have raised me with, 24 years of hardworking, unconditional love. Is that fair? 

Well, thats what happened to me today..I wanted to share. I have to admit it shattered some of my enthusiasm for love but it hasn't killed it completely. 

Liz