'Where You Been?'

Timing is essential when it comes to relationships and like clockwork, the one you want never wants you but when you've moved on from him to the next 'him'...now he's ready, now he's available and 'open'. How annoying!? RIGHT!? Its confusing, like, wait...why are you calling me so much now? why you wanna know how im doing? why you all in my life WILLINGLY now? whats up...sooner than later you realize, its not that they want you, its more of them not wanting you to be anyone else's.

"Look how you want me now, that I don't need you...So you thought that I'd crumble to my knees at the first sight of you crawling back to me to whisper 'when you leave your man...' cause you swear that this time you can, stand by me" -Adele 'I Found A Boy'

If you're anything like me, you give your all when you're into someone. Cause the hope in potential is enough to keep you trying and giving, till your spent. Yea yea, you try and tell yourself you won't make the same mistakes 'this time' and you try to keep the guard up a little longer, but...new #him, new feelings, new faith, new hope, new love. Love is beautiful like that you know, it kind of replenishes itself to love like you've never been hurt when new hope (people) enter your life. So, when I give my all and am raw with my emotions, it hurts to feel it was all in vain and gone to waste. If you are* anything like me, it has* gone to waste in the past I'm sure you can say you have...mended the wounds yourself and let life's most reliable medicine, TIME heal you. Soon enough, someone new and amazing comes along and all of a sudden the old him wants to know where i been at? (excuse me?) it just makes you wanna say 'Let me tell you where I been at!' *clears throat*

"For the first few weeks after realizing I loved you and you just thought of me as disposable feelings to mooch off of whenever you* wanted...I was home probably, in bed, ignoring my friends, family and anyone else who cared cause I was so obsessed with you NOT loving me. I was in a trance of work (cause I had to) and sleep (to not think of you). After that passed, I thought the worst of it was over, so I kind of started socializing and caring again, I maybe put some make up on, put some effort in and went out a few nights. My friends were happy to see me smiling, but they knew you were still on my mind. (So now we are at month 2, post-you) & I wasn't thinking about you as much but the smallest reminders would bring you back to mind. So I worked on distractions, got back into my routine and actually enjoyed my days. You were on my mind less and less. (Approaching month 3) You were a distant memory and I was able to start thinking of you as a lesson rather than a waste of my time. Coincidentally, I met someone who took the time to get to know me, spend time with me, show me he was willing to open their heart to me because thats what I deserve, someone to be real with me and doesn't gimme all talk, no play. I've been spending my time on someone that will reciprocate effort consistently and with no superficial expectations in return. I've been busy with someone who isn't scared to show me off cause 'there might be someone better out there', someone who realizes, I AM the BEST thing out there. THATS where I've been, if you REALLY needed to know. NOW, what do YOU want from me?!" 

Misery loves company, people that are scared of love (ironically) need the most love, they can't stand seeing love that was once unconditionally given to them now being appreciated and distributed elsewhere. Its an ownership thing (ego), I think. Im sure many of you can relate to this experience, I hope it has brought you some laughs to see the ghosts of lovers past come knocking on your door again, I hope you are strong enough and in a better place at that time to recognize you are too good to be kept waiting for something you deserve and are willing to reciprocate, LOVE and no one has the right to put you on their shelf for when they are ready IF* no one better comes along. Don't settle & don't let anyone have you on the sidelines for when they are ready to settle.

Thanks for reading, Love.