Love or Loyalty

Are we looking for love or are we looking for loyalty? Loyalty kinda falls by the wayside when we get to talking about whats best* for all the parties involved. Its interesting to see how many people are begging for loyalty but they also value their 'options'. How are you begging me to be loyal to you but have women ready and willing to replace me? Men always want to justify this behavoir by assigning different roles to women but treating them all the same. For example, his 'Queen' may get most of if his physical time and affection but his side chick feels just as important...but he's loyal, right?

You ever deal with someone that stresses loyalty? Everything they do, they are paranoid with everyone elses intentions? Thats not normal...Why are you so paranoid about loyalty and trust? Probably because you cant be trusted, you never learned how to love..thats why. People living paranoid about trust or being hurt are living wrong or have some hidden demons they need to work on and you dont need to be there while they are working on them. Its not baggage for you to claim. The irony of a man valuing loyalty as the most important quality in a mate and that being the last quality he brings to the table. Overcompensating their shortcomings by proclaiming to be loyal, little boys crying wolf. As women, we are natural caregivers & we want to please. Sometimes we are so foused on keeping a man happy, we dont notice when we are being accused of their own insecurities.

"Men too scared to stop acting like boys, thinking we can love away their scars. So we take the lashes of the insecurities they pour on us & lick our wounds in quiet mourning for the little girls we lose by the minute" - 'To All The Boys I've Loved Before' Mayda Del Valle

Staying loyal and hopeful for happiness will have you empty and him happy enough for the both of you. Who is gonna feed you when YOU are hungry for loyalty, happiness and love? Who is gonna be there when you have given him all your extra helpings? Him? How many women does he have being loyal to him for him to care that you need his support or loyalty? Wake up. Too many women are willing to satisfy a mans ego, subconciously (or consiously) competing to be the chosen one while lacking self-love, worth & acceptance. Being asked to prove your loyalty as a woman in exchange for a position on a rotating pedestal of 'queens', depending on who is more 'loyal' on whatever day of the week. Who he is in the mood for today? No. Dont be out here giving full access loyalty passess to someone only willing to give you a 'Maybe' or 'Im not ready yet' day pass.

Why can't a person commit to someone they find awesome even with all the other awesome people left out there. How come ONE isnt enough for some? It came to me that, maybe the need to be promiscuous is masking the need for love, guaranteed love. How else can we guarantee love even at its most superficial state than to have multiple lovers at our beckon call? Have more than one. Its the only logical reasoning I can think of. (I'm sure there's more)

Like John Mayer sings 'Fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do'. We are just as loyal as the experiences in our life. Children are as loyal, loving and honest as their upbringings. Lovers are just as loyal as the love they recieved as they grew up. If love growing up was not guaranteed  these men will not learn to love and be loyal but will demand to be loved and be waited on. You see it everyday, men hunting for 'love'...women home, waiting to be loved. Loyalty is an admirable quality to have but it must be recognized when it breeds flaws and unhealthy situations. Are you in love or are you in loyalty? Are you being reciprocated the loyalty you have so willingly put forth? Any relationship is an exchange of energies, qualities, and personalities; take pride first in the relationship you have with yourself and be careful of the loyalty to others interfering with the loyalty and love you should have with your self. The best lovers are the ones who have learned to love from the inside out, the ones who have been loyal to themselves above all else.